Depending on your creative mindset, December FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) can be your friend or your enemy. So, let’s talk about what to release, and what to hold tight, as we go into the last month of 2020. 

(If you go through this brief creative mindset exercise with me and share in the comments at the end, I’ll give away one query critique to one random commenter, and one picture book critique to to another. Don’t feel like you have to complete everything I suggest in the post to enter. Anyone who shares wins at the end can enter. )

1. Release the Negative

2020 has held disappointments and sorrow for most of us. Did you have goals or relationships that didn’t work out the way you’d planned? Are you mourning loved ones or dreams you’ve had to put on hold?

Take some time here to grieve. What didn’t go the way you wanted it to this year? If you’re a list person, you might make a list. If you’re a religious person, you might pray. Hitting or screaming into a pillow can help you release anger. You can journal about your grief and disappointment. It might take you five minutes, or it might take you hours, but it will help lift a weight. 

Personal Story:

If you have depression or anxiety, though, you may need more help releasing negativity than an exercise or two can provide. It’s okay to get help with that. It’s hard to have a creative mindset at all when you need help with your mental health.

2020 hasn’t been a bad year for me. Yes, it’s been hard in a lot of ways, but in a lot of other ways, I feel like my family has been fortunate.

On the other hand, 2018 was the worst year of my life, worse even than 2000 when my mom died unexpectedly. I spent most of 2018 wrestling with suicidal depression on my own. I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Out of self-preservation, I quit a leadership position with my church and a long-time job. I’d stayed in both of them because I worked with kids, and I loved that part. But there were some toxic adult components, and getting out was necessary.

That summer, I reached out to a friend who’d gone through suicidal depression, and we became texting buddies who went on monthly outings with each other. She reassured me that I was just going through my “dark night of the soul” and that my life would be better on the other side. I started out by reading books she recommended, repeating affirmations, and listening to TED Talks. One of the TED Talks that made an impact was Abria Joseph’s “Removing Negative Self-Talk.”

I remember that I was in my bedroom, painting over the horrible wallpaper I’d been ignoring for 15 years with a lovely robin egg blue, when I stopped to write the three questions he asked. I still have them on my mirror.

1. Is it true?
2. Is it necessary?
3. Does it improve upon the silence?

I’m sharing it now, just in case any of you need it. And my friend was right about my dark night of the soul. It gave me the courage to make necessary changes in my life. If you’re going through something like that, not only can you come through it, you can be stronger and happier on the other side. There’s no shame in getting professional help. The world is more beautiful with you in it. And if you let yourself be happy, that happiness will spread to the people around you. Choose happiness. The pain you experience in metamorphosis will be worth it.